The Years I Learned I Could Survive

There was a season of my life I would call The Years I Learned I Could Survive.

It wasn’t one event.

It was years of believing I had to be stronger than I felt.

Years of trauma, addiction, broken relationships, chronic pain, shame, and trying to convince the world—and sometimes myself—that I was okay.

For a long time, survival was all I knew.

Looking back, I don’t think what got me through was extraordinary courage. Most days, it was something much quieter.

One more sunrise.

One more cup of coffee.

One person who believed in me when I struggled to believe in myself.

A notebook where I could tell the truth.

The stubborn decision to keep trying one more day.

Healing wasn’t dramatic. It didn’t happen all at once. It arrived in tiny moments that almost seemed too small to matter until one day I realized they had changed my life.

Today, I still carry some of those scars. Chronic pain didn’t disappear. Some relationships were never restored. There are chapters I wish had been different.

But those years also taught me compassion.

They taught me not to judge someone by the chapter they’re living in today.

They taught me that people are often fighting battles we cannot see.

Most of all, they taught me that hope is rarely loud. Sometimes it is simply the quiet decision to begin again.

If I could go back and speak to the person I was during those hard years, I wouldn’t tell them to be stronger.

I’d tell them this:

“Keep going.

One day you’ll discover that you weren’t just surviving.

You were becoming someone who could help others survive, too.”

And somehow, that makes every difficult chapter worth carrying.


Before You Go…

If you’re living through what feels like The Hard Years right now, I hope you’ll remember this:

The chapter you’re in is not the title of your whole story.

There are still pages left to write.

The Tree Was Allowed to Keep Growing, Too

If you could change the ending of any book, which one would it be?

If I could change the ending of any book, it would be The Giving Tree.

For years, people have called it a beautiful story about unconditional love. And in many ways, it is.

But as I’ve grown older, I read it differently.

I no longer see a tree whose purpose is to give until nothing remains.

I see someone who forgot they were allowed to matter too.

The boy spends his life taking—branches, apples, a trunk—returning only when he needs something else. The tree never asks for reciprocity. Never sets a boundary. Never says, “I love you, but I need to keep some of myself.”

If I could rewrite the ending, the tree would still be kind.

She would still be generous.

But somewhere along the journey, she would discover that love and self-sacrifice are not the same thing.

The boy would learn that caring for someone also means protecting what keeps them alive.

Instead of sitting on a lonely stump, they’d sit together beneath a canopy of leaves that the tree never had to surrender.

Because the healthiest love isn’t measured by how much of ourselves we give away.

It’s measured by how both people can keep growing.


“Love should leave room for both people to remain whole.”

You are allowed to keep some of yourself.

Opening Doors

If I had an unlimited budget for 24 hours, first, I’d buy enough coffee to keep me caffeinated for life. spoil a few people I love.

Then I would spend the day opening doors. I would fund shelters, support survivors, advocate for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women, help families in crisis, and invest in spaces where people could heal. I’d make sure the people I love never have to choose between their health and their bills.

Money is powerful, and I think its greatest use is creating hope where there wasn’t any before.

Then I’d fund every dream project I’ve ever started, build a giant porch, sit with a cup of coffee, and watch a sunrise, grateful for the chance to make a difference, and probably still end up wondering what to do next. 😆☕🪶💜